"Putting in a lot, only to end up with nothing to show for it, is just too awful for most of us to seriously consider. The problem is one of focus. We worry far too much about what we’ll lose if we just move on, instead of focusing on the costs of not moving on: more wasted time and effort, more unhappiness, and more missed opportunities."

The Atlantic: How to Walk Away (via spareunderthemattt)

(via littlelaur)

I am lucky in that I have been able to discover a passion of mine that others have recognized and sought me out for.
sometimes they even give me money or tacos or side ponytails. that part of it all still feels a little awkward (well, mostly the money part, not so much the tacos) but it’s wonderful and surprising and does wonders for that part of my soul that loves creating.
through this, I have been able to meet some really amazing people I would not have otherwise met. capturing things with your camera means that you get fairly intimate with people really, really quickly. it’s surprising how fun and awesome I think this part is (ten years ago, just the thought of it would have made me want to die).
I get to capture really big moments in people’s lives. or even simple, small ones that they want to remember. that also makes me very lucky.
but it’s also a little hard on my heart. I’ve never had anything really worth capturing or remembering - no engagement, no wedding, no baby. I’ve captured all of these moments for a dear friend of mine and while I love her and I love being a part of these things in her life, I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt that all these things are hers and I’m just the one capturing the things she has and the the things I don’t.
maybe one day I’ll be on the other side of the camera. until then. 
photo snapped on my way out the door to a session Saturday afternoon.

I am lucky in that I have been able to discover a passion of mine that others have recognized and sought me out for.

sometimes they even give me money or tacos or side ponytails. that part of it all still feels a little awkward (well, mostly the money part, not so much the tacos) but it’s wonderful and surprising and does wonders for that part of my soul that loves creating.

through this, I have been able to meet some really amazing people I would not have otherwise met. capturing things with your camera means that you get fairly intimate with people really, really quickly. it’s surprising how fun and awesome I think this part is (ten years ago, just the thought of it would have made me want to die).

I get to capture really big moments in people’s lives. or even simple, small ones that they want to remember. that also makes me very lucky.

but it’s also a little hard on my heart. I’ve never had anything really worth capturing or remembering - no engagement, no wedding, no baby. I’ve captured all of these moments for a dear friend of mine and while I love her and I love being a part of these things in her life, I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt that all these things are hers and I’m just the one capturing the things she has and the the things I don’t.

maybe one day I’ll be on the other side of the camera. until then. 

photo snapped on my way out the door to a session Saturday afternoon.

I got myself a bike.a little blue cruiser with a basket.

the lingering daylight, the outrageously, weirdly gorgeous weather (the earth did not get the memo that it’s summer and Florida and it’s suppose to be stupid hot here right now), and the way I feel energized after work instead of drained like at the old place all contributed to purchasing a bike and making my mama put it together for me.

biking is a lot harder than I remember. I am attributing this to two things: 1. I haven’t had a bike in over 15 years and 2. I am woefully out of shape. I’m working on it.

the first eleven years of my childhood were spent on a bike, going all over town with my friends. which explains why I am tanned and skinny in every photograph from childhood summers. I’m certain 10 year old me would laugh at 26 year old me who wears a yellow helmet. 

Beyond the beautiful weather and energizing new job, I’ve been trying to get healthier + lose some weight. this seemed like an excellent way to get me into action in the evenings, after dinner. 

I keep telling myself “you’ve got to work for the life you want to have. what does that look like - the life you want?” and that life, it includes a blue bicycle with a basket.

How to reupholster a sofa when you have no idea what you’re doing and don’t know how to sew: a step by step guide.

Step 1: find a sofa on the side of the street. bring it home.

Step 2: Enlist your mother to help (even if she doesn’t know what she’s doing or how to sew either, odds are she’s a perfectionist and will do 99% of the work)

Step 3: invest in a good staple gun and a sharp knife.

Step 4: take a thousand photos of the couch to remember how it was put together.

Step 5: carefully remove the existing fabric from the sofa, keeping them in full pieces like they are on the sofa (this could potentially come in handy if you need to use the old pieces for patterns - we did not)

Step 6: drape the fabric (I used two drop clothes from Home Depot that cost $16 a piece as my fabric) over the sofa (totally scientific way to do this) and start stapling. go along the existing seams with the staples. 

Step 7: repeat this on every section of the sofa. it took about 4 hours. remember to keep pulling the fabric tight. also remember that curves are a bitch.

Step 8: cover up all the staples with some trim by using a hot glue gun. 

Step 9: this step involves some sewing, but you can contract out like I did and ask a friend who knows how to sew to sew you a cover for the cushion.

Step 10: buy cute accessories to hide the imperfections.

This sofa cost me about $50 including the sofa itself, the “fabric” to cover it, the staple gun, staples, knife and trim. While it’s not perfect, you can’t beat it for $50 and I’m happy for it to live in my dining room.

Totally Pinterest-worthy stuff right here, guys.

Tuesday Things.

My family has no real idea what it is I do for a living. They assume I just go to fancy places and eat fancy lunches and dinners. (This is not what I do.) Today, however, this is what I did. 

This new gig of mine requires me to be outgoing. and that is not at all my default setting. I must push and push and push to smile and make small talk and to introduce myself to hoards of new people. This is what I wanted. Exactly what I wanted and it is in these moments at fancy lunches that I am grateful and challenged and learning and pushing.

Tuesday Things.

My family has no real idea what it is I do for a living. They assume I just go to fancy places and eat fancy lunches and dinners. (This is not what I do.) Today, however, this is what I did.

This new gig of mine requires me to be outgoing. and that is not at all my default setting. I must push and push and push to smile and make small talk and to introduce myself to hoards of new people. This is what I wanted. Exactly what I wanted and it is in these moments at fancy lunches that I am grateful and challenged and learning and pushing.

Tags: work

I spent my day with 25 high school students (thanks to my new gig, that’s the population we deal with).

oh goodness. it made me feel like I was in high school all over again. regardless of the fact that I’m much closer to 30 than I am to their age. that fact alone should have made me feel old. and it did that too, but mostly, I just felt the exact same way I felt in high school. uncool and lonely and ugly and fat. 

(my high school experience was miserable - not because I was bullied or because kids were mean to me [they weren’t] but because of my own personal demons. still, high school remains one of the hardest, most grueling chapters of my life)

being in the presence of the pretty popular girls, despite being a good ten years older than them, had me stumbling all day. cringing when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and pulling at my shirt and never feeling as though I was saying the right things to them. never feeling good enough.

life is exponentially better now than it was 10 years ago. and yet, the pain of it all still stings that broken, tender part of me that has never truly healed.

Washington, DC | Part Two

here are some more photographs from my time in Washington. monuments and Smithsonian’s and other remarkable places.

you’ve seen all these things before. in person, on television, in your history books. I can’t capture them any differently than they’ve already been captured a million times before I saw them through the lens of my camera.

but I want to say something about Arlington National Cemetery. maybe it hits a little closer to home because the fear from my brother serving his country in the desert is still fresh and raw or because I know how honorably my grandfather served his country, but this place got right down to my soul.

as we were leaving, I could see the cemetery from the air. tiny specks of white dotting the landscape. it’s quite a sight. but to see it from the ground - to experience the quietness, the overwhelming number of white tombstones that stretch for as far as you can see, it is something else altogether. it is sad and grave and above all else it is beautiful.

that’s what struck me the most about this place: it is beautiful. it’s an odd sentiment about a cemetery, but that’s the most accurate word I could use to describe it. it’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been able to photograph and I’m grateful to have had the honor.

Washington, DC | Part One

I am not an overly Patriotic person nor am I a history buff, but let me tell you this: being in the Nation’s Capitol had me all weepy and sentimental and awed.

to stand in the same spots as presidents and first ladies and countless others who made history stood. to look over the mall, in both directions, and see what President Obama saw on the day he was inaugurated or what Martin Luther King Jr. saw when he declared he had a dream, it was moving. you spend your whole life seeing these places in text books and movies and on the news and then you’re  there. it was an incredible experience.

but beyond all that emotional stuff, I loved DC. the weather was beautiful and the people friendly and the metro easy to navigate. I arrived on my birthday and took off to Georgetown to feast on cupcakes (Georgetown Cupcakes was delicious and lived up to its reputation - even rivaled my favorite hometown cupcake shop). I could easily see myself living along the narrow cobblestone streets in one of those sweet brick houses if I had a few million dollars to spare.

The Capitol was quiet in the evenings. we laid in the grass out front and took it all in. the National Cathedral was worth the trek. the stain glass windows were breathtaking. and the White House was booming with tourists pressed against the gates and no signs of the first family.

"You’re not single because your standards are too high. Good for you for having standards. It’s not because you didn’t like that really, really good guy who wanted to take you on a date and you just weren’t feeling it. And it’s not because you like to wear pajama pants as soon as you get home and wash all the makeup off your face. You’re not single because you didn’t learn enough from the past or would rather chill on a Friday night with your blanket and a cold beer than shower, get ready, and go out. You’re not single because something is wrong with you.

You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now."

Why You’re Single | Thought Catalog (via apsies)

(via tamsgot)

"If physical hunger isn’t what launched your current eating episode, then how in the world is being satisfied going to be what signals you to stop? Hunger and fullness are like two bookends. If hunger is what starts you eating, then feeling satisfied would naturally be what makes it easy to stop. However, if feeling frustrated with a project at work is what initiated your eating, then what is your signal to stop? When the problem is solved? When the chips and salsa are gone? When you hear someone coming down the hall?"

— Josie Spinardi on emotional eating (via celebratingorselfmedicating)

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