I spent my day with 25 high school students (thanks to my new gig, that’s the population we deal with).
oh goodness. it made me feel like I was in high school all over again. regardless of the fact that I’m much closer to 30 than I am to their age. that fact alone should have made me feel old. and it did that too, but mostly, I just felt the exact same way I felt in high school. uncool and lonely and ugly and fat.
(my high school experience was miserable - not because I was bullied or because kids were mean to me [they weren’t] but because of my own personal demons. still, high school remains one of the hardest, most grueling chapters of my life)
being in the presence of the pretty popular girls, despite being a good ten years older than them, had me stumbling all day. cringing when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and pulling at my shirt and never feeling as though I was saying the right things to them. never feeling good enough.
life is exponentially better now than it was 10 years ago. and yet, the pain of it all still stings that broken, tender part of me that has never truly healed.
You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now."
— Josie Spinardi on emotional eating (via celebratingorselfmedicating)